Crossed between both worlds

I have not written for a long time, as I am sure you can tell.  This is in part due to not knowing what to write.  I feel as though I have been put in a place of in between.  Having achieved the impossible, sex and pregnancy, but still feeling extreme pain I feel that I no longer stand on one side or the other.

I'm very excited for our little miracle baby to arrive.  Unfortunately, my doctor who has helped me make this achievement is no longer doing OB.  Also, unexpectedly the practice expects you to see all OB's since you never know which doctor will be available during labor.  So that being said, my first OB thinks that despite my vaginal issues I should try for a natural birth, they think it should remove the rest of my pain.  This would be amazing, except I have my doubts.  Most of the women in my family had trouble with the actual birthing process.

Its an interesting phenomenon, the things you desire most bring on there own challenges.  Still dealing with pain, monthly exams and an internal ultrasound (did not know they did that), child birth, I know they will be worth it but all these things bring on new fears and the old need to rely on my Lord.


Jeremiah 29:111
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
 
I think this post was more rambling than writing....

P.S. The internal ultrasound, though uncomfortable, went very well.  Baby has a beautiful heartbeat :D  Arrival is estimated for January 12th