Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
How has the Lord been working Vulvodynia for the good in you life? What is your silver lining, to the dark cloud?
1. The Lord has been teaching me more about Himself and His ways.
2. I know my husband truly loves me, its not just a physical thing :)
3. I don't have to take birth control (haha)
4. I have met several amazing women, whom I would never have met (Vulvodynia Support FB )
5. I have learned who my true friends are.
Those are just a few of mine...
Monday, December 27, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Three's the Charm
Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
The truth is there are several ingredients that build towards a good marriage. Communication, one on one time, trust, sex, understanding are all good and important ingredients to any marriage.
Those ingredients are important, but the truth is we are human. Being human makes us imperfect. When work is done by someone imperfect, there are bound to be mistakes. Wife and husband, would make an imperfect cord because they are two imperfect people. A flaw or weakness would be found in the cords and without a perfect third strand would be likely to fall apart. The three stranded cord is a representation of a wife, her husband and the Lord. The Lord is perfect, He is without flaw or weakness. As long as He is the center in the relationship then when we fail (ex. we can’t have sex) the Lord holds us together. “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
The key ingredient, the one ingredient marriage cannot/should not go without is the Lord. The problem becomes when we try to replace the key ingredient with one of our other ingredients. Often times I feel like sex is the key ingredient...with a mindset like that its no wonder we would get depressed.
Exodus 34:14 Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.
The questions become: Has sex become god in our relationship? Where is God in relationship? Is He outside looking in as we try to fix our relationship by ourselves? Or have you invited the Lord to be the center of your relationship? Have you given Him the reins?
My e-mail is Veronica.P.Coleman@gmail.com
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
The truth is there are several ingredients that build towards a good marriage. Communication, one on one time, trust, sex, understanding are all good and important ingredients to any marriage.
Those ingredients are important, but the truth is we are human. Being human makes us imperfect. When work is done by someone imperfect, there are bound to be mistakes. Wife and husband, would make an imperfect cord because they are two imperfect people. A flaw or weakness would be found in the cords and without a perfect third strand would be likely to fall apart. The three stranded cord is a representation of a wife, her husband and the Lord. The Lord is perfect, He is without flaw or weakness. As long as He is the center in the relationship then when we fail (ex. we can’t have sex) the Lord holds us together. “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
The key ingredient, the one ingredient marriage cannot/should not go without is the Lord. The problem becomes when we try to replace the key ingredient with one of our other ingredients. Often times I feel like sex is the key ingredient...with a mindset like that its no wonder we would get depressed.
Exodus 34:14 Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.
The questions become: Has sex become god in our relationship? Where is God in relationship? Is He outside looking in as we try to fix our relationship by ourselves? Or have you invited the Lord to be the center of your relationship? Have you given Him the reins?
My e-mail is Veronica.P.Coleman@gmail.com
Thursday, December 16, 2010
One of those days...
Have any of you heard that song Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant ?
I have traveled many moonless night
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now
To carry Your son
I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load i bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone
Be with me now
Be with me now
Chorus:
Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, Your holiness
For You are holy, Breath of Heaven
Do You wonder as You watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me
(I found the lyrics at http://www.lyricsdomain.com/ )
Those embolden words I feel like describe my life. I don't want Vulvodynia. It frightens me how it will affect the rest of my life and whether it will ever go away and I just keep praying it will go away. Isn't there someone wiser much more capable of carrying this load. But its not my place to question, I offer all I am for the mercy of God's plan... and I have to trust that He will give me the strength and cover me in His presence... Lord please lift my spirits
I have traveled many moonless night
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now
To carry Your son
I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load i bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone
Be with me now
Be with me now
Chorus:
Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, Your holiness
For You are holy, Breath of Heaven
Do You wonder as You watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me
(I found the lyrics at http://www.lyricsdomain.com/ )
Those embolden words I feel like describe my life. I don't want Vulvodynia. It frightens me how it will affect the rest of my life and whether it will ever go away and I just keep praying it will go away. Isn't there someone wiser much more capable of carrying this load. But its not my place to question, I offer all I am for the mercy of God's plan... and I have to trust that He will give me the strength and cover me in His presence... Lord please lift my spirits
Monday, December 13, 2010
Wanting to Be Like Everyone Else
I want to be like everyone else. I want to be normal. I want to have sex with my husband!
There is just one problem with feeling like this. This took me forever for me to realize! We are called, as Christians to be holy.
Ephesians 1:4a
"For he chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight."
Leviticus 11:44-45
"I am the LORD your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy. Do not make yourselves unclean by any creature that moves along the ground. I am the LORD, who brought you up out of Egypt to be your God; therefore be holy, because I am holy."
Leviticus 19:2
"“Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.""
If we are called to be holy because our Lord Jesus is holy, we should know what holy means. So I did what I normally do and pulled up http://dictionary.reference.com/
It talked about relating to God and being devout and virtuous. However, the definition I was always taught in church, I found here http://www.rondunn.com/Devotionals/Called%20To%20Be%20Holy.htm
It shows that the Hebrew word for holiness is kadesh which means something that is cut off, separate or set apart. The word in the NT is hagios which means set apart, separate, in a class by itself. Do you see where I am going with this? We are called to be different! We are called to be set apart!
Before this hit me, I was thinking to myself that I was doing a pretty good job of being holy. I was thinking in the dictionary.com sense.
Christians are set apart. I know that I have struggled with that and not wanted to gladly proclaim Jesus Christ as my Savior because I will stand out like a sore thumb. However, this is why we are set apart! That we might stand out among others and present the Good News! It's easier to praise God when we are doing well (not easy, just easier). We are further set apart (made holy) because we are Christians with Vulvodynia! The question becomes will you use that holiness to proclaim Jesus Christ's goodness?
There is just one problem with feeling like this. This took me forever for me to realize! We are called, as Christians to be holy.
Ephesians 1:4a
"For he chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight."
Leviticus 11:44-45
"I am the LORD your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy. Do not make yourselves unclean by any creature that moves along the ground. I am the LORD, who brought you up out of Egypt to be your God; therefore be holy, because I am holy."
Leviticus 19:2
"“Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.""
If we are called to be holy because our Lord Jesus is holy, we should know what holy means. So I did what I normally do and pulled up http://dictionary.reference.com/
It talked about relating to God and being devout and virtuous. However, the definition I was always taught in church, I found here http://www.rondunn.com/Devotionals/Called%20To%20Be%20Holy.htm
It shows that the Hebrew word for holiness is kadesh which means something that is cut off, separate or set apart. The word in the NT is hagios which means set apart, separate, in a class by itself. Do you see where I am going with this? We are called to be different! We are called to be set apart!
Before this hit me, I was thinking to myself that I was doing a pretty good job of being holy. I was thinking in the dictionary.com sense.
Christians are set apart. I know that I have struggled with that and not wanted to gladly proclaim Jesus Christ as my Savior because I will stand out like a sore thumb. However, this is why we are set apart! That we might stand out among others and present the Good News! It's easier to praise God when we are doing well (not easy, just easier). We are further set apart (made holy) because we are Christians with Vulvodynia! The question becomes will you use that holiness to proclaim Jesus Christ's goodness?
Monday, December 6, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
True Beauty
I don’t know about you all, but sometimes I feel if someone just looks at me they know. They know I can’t have sex, they see all my flaws. I look in the mirror and I think, I have a few nice features but I have several that could use some fixing. I think if they somehow managed to think I’m pretty but they knew I couldn’t have sex, well nobody would want me...not even my husband.
My husband has assured me that is not how it is for him. Seeing as he is still married to me, I guess that’s a pretty good indicator that it is true. :)
This is not a parable in the Bible, but it is a parable that I heard in a sermon once by Pastor Bossom at
Harvester PCA, in Springfield, VA
There once was a place, where when a man proposed to a woman he would offer the father cows in accordance to her worth. If the woman was beautiful, well-learned in the skill of keeping a home and cooking (feminism hasn’t made it to this land yet) and experience with the care of children she was worth the max of 10 cows. A woman who was ugly, had no ability whatsoever was worth no cows but it was still customary to bring atleast one if a man did propose.
In this land there was a girl, whom everyone was sure was not even worth the one cow. She was ugly, a clutz and had no skill at all. No one wanted her. One day a man appeared at the door of her father and asked the father for the daughters hand. Even the father was surprised that the man offered him the 10 cows.
Years later, a visitor came to the house of the man who had paid 10 cows for a wife. The visitor was shocked when he entered the home, the home was beautiful, the children behaved and the meal excellent. The wife was gorgeous and graceful. The visitor was astounded more so when he became aware that this was the same woman that no one would have taken years earlier.
The truth is the man paid 10 cows for the woman, the max that could be paid. Because he saw worth in her, she was able to see worth in herself. She was able to grow into the woman that he had paid for her to be.
Jesus Christ came to a woman who was not very skilled, not very beautiful, and couldn’t have sex and he paid the max, He died on the cross, for her life. How comforting is that thought! When we had no worth, Christ gave us worth and now we are invaluable.
1 Samuel 16:7b For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
“We do not want to be beautiful so that we can gain the approval of man; we want to be beautiful so that we represent our King with quality and excellence.” -- The King's Daughter; Becoming the Woman God Created You to Be -Diana Hagee
That’s the thought anyway we should want to be beautiful to represent our King.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
What has God been teaching you? I would love to hear feedback. If you are not comfortable commenting here you can write me at Veronica.P.Coleman@gmail.com.
My husband has assured me that is not how it is for him. Seeing as he is still married to me, I guess that’s a pretty good indicator that it is true. :)
This is not a parable in the Bible, but it is a parable that I heard in a sermon once by Pastor Bossom at
Harvester PCA, in Springfield, VA
There once was a place, where when a man proposed to a woman he would offer the father cows in accordance to her worth. If the woman was beautiful, well-learned in the skill of keeping a home and cooking (feminism hasn’t made it to this land yet) and experience with the care of children she was worth the max of 10 cows. A woman who was ugly, had no ability whatsoever was worth no cows but it was still customary to bring atleast one if a man did propose.
In this land there was a girl, whom everyone was sure was not even worth the one cow. She was ugly, a clutz and had no skill at all. No one wanted her. One day a man appeared at the door of her father and asked the father for the daughters hand. Even the father was surprised that the man offered him the 10 cows.
Years later, a visitor came to the house of the man who had paid 10 cows for a wife. The visitor was shocked when he entered the home, the home was beautiful, the children behaved and the meal excellent. The wife was gorgeous and graceful. The visitor was astounded more so when he became aware that this was the same woman that no one would have taken years earlier.
The truth is the man paid 10 cows for the woman, the max that could be paid. Because he saw worth in her, she was able to see worth in herself. She was able to grow into the woman that he had paid for her to be.
Jesus Christ came to a woman who was not very skilled, not very beautiful, and couldn’t have sex and he paid the max, He died on the cross, for her life. How comforting is that thought! When we had no worth, Christ gave us worth and now we are invaluable.
1 Samuel 16:7b For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
“We do not want to be beautiful so that we can gain the approval of man; we want to be beautiful so that we represent our King with quality and excellence.” -- The King's Daughter; Becoming the Woman God Created You to Be -Diana Hagee
That’s the thought anyway we should want to be beautiful to represent our King.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
What has God been teaching you? I would love to hear feedback. If you are not comfortable commenting here you can write me at Veronica.P.Coleman@gmail.com.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thank You God
Romans 12:1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
What Can I Do? -Paul Baloche and Graham Kendrick
When I see the beauty of a sunset glory
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved by a God so high
What can I do but thank You
What can I do but give my life to you
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
What can I do but praise you
Everyday make everything I do
A hallelujah, A hallelujah, Hallelujah
When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side
of the cross they nailed you to
That could not hold you
Now you're making all things new
By the power of the risen life
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
What Can I Do? -Paul Baloche and Graham Kendrick
When I see the beauty of a sunset glory
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved by a God so high
What can I do but thank You
What can I do but give my life to you
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
What can I do but praise you
Everyday make everything I do
A hallelujah, A hallelujah, Hallelujah
When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side
of the cross they nailed you to
That could not hold you
Now you're making all things new
By the power of the risen life
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Conviction
Yesterday, I was worshiping in church and I almost had to stop singing as tears filled my eyes. There were two particular songs that just really hit home.
Mighty To Save- Hillsong
To the Ends of the Earth- Hillsong
So take me as you find me
all my fears and failures
fill my life again
I give my life to follow everything I believe in
Now I surrender -Mighty To Save
I stood there barely able to get the words out because I feel like my life has become full of fears. Fear of confiding about my condition, fear of pain, etc. Many times I fill like a failure, when I see a new young married couple, a baby...I feel like I failed at being a woman and a wife. But my life shouldn't be dependent on that. In this song I was asking God to fill my life again, fill it to the point that all my fears no longer had room and to the point where I didn't see failure, I saw Christ working through me.
The second song,
And I would give the world to tell Your story,
Cause I know that You've called me -To the Ends of the Earth
When I had sung this before, I didn't think much of it. I've done local mission's trips and overseas mission's trips, and I felt that I meant those words. What hit me yesterday, is the words "And I would give the world to tell Your story" it was talking about what I would give not where I would go. The question became would I really give the world...Yes of course. What about the personal things, the tears hit harder. Was I even really willing to give those up, I mean I haven't really had a choice, but I was trying to hold onto that so hard.
I am asking that the Lord will fill me so much that all I see is Him working through me. We haven't been asked to give the world, we've been allowed to give up our ability to have pain-free sex (hopefully just for a time) to tell His story. That is what I am feebly attempting to do with this blog. I hope you all are have a painless or less painful day today.
Mighty To Save- Hillsong
To the Ends of the Earth- Hillsong
So take me as you find me
all my fears and failures
fill my life again
I give my life to follow everything I believe in
Now I surrender -Mighty To Save
I stood there barely able to get the words out because I feel like my life has become full of fears. Fear of confiding about my condition, fear of pain, etc. Many times I fill like a failure, when I see a new young married couple, a baby...I feel like I failed at being a woman and a wife. But my life shouldn't be dependent on that. In this song I was asking God to fill my life again, fill it to the point that all my fears no longer had room and to the point where I didn't see failure, I saw Christ working through me.
The second song,
And I would give the world to tell Your story,
Cause I know that You've called me -To the Ends of the Earth
When I had sung this before, I didn't think much of it. I've done local mission's trips and overseas mission's trips, and I felt that I meant those words. What hit me yesterday, is the words "And I would give the world to tell Your story" it was talking about what I would give not where I would go. The question became would I really give the world...Yes of course. What about the personal things, the tears hit harder. Was I even really willing to give those up, I mean I haven't really had a choice, but I was trying to hold onto that so hard.
I am asking that the Lord will fill me so much that all I see is Him working through me. We haven't been asked to give the world, we've been allowed to give up our ability to have pain-free sex (hopefully just for a time) to tell His story. That is what I am feebly attempting to do with this blog. I hope you all are have a painless or less painful day today.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Out of the Depths
Out of the Depths
(click title for audio)
Out of the depths oh Lord
I cry to You
When I am tempted to despair
Though I might fail to trust Your promises
You never fail to hear my prayer
And if You judged my sin
I’d never stand again
But I see mercy in Your hands
So more than watchmen for the morning
I will wait for You my God
When my fears come with no warning
In Your Word I’ll put my trust
When the harvest time is over and I still see no fruit
I will wait, I will wait for You
The secret mysteries belong to You
we only know what You reveal
and all my questions that are unresolved
don’t change the wisdom of Your will
In every trial and loss
my hope is in the cross
where Your compassions never fail.
Out of the depths oh Lord
I cry to You
When I am tempted to despair
Though I might fail to trust Your promises
You never fail to hear my prayer
And if You judged my sin
I’d never stand again
But I see mercy in Your hands
So more than watchmen for the morning
I will wait for You my God
When my fears come with no warning
In Your Word I’ll put my trust
When the harvest time is over and I still see no fruit
I will wait, I will wait for You
The secret mysteries belong to You
we only know what You reveal
and all my questions that are unresolved
don’t change the wisdom of Your will
In every trial and loss
my hope is in the cross
where Your compassions never fail.
Bob Kauflin © 2008
Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)
Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Forgiveness
This is a hard one for me. I think that with our condition this becomes especially hard because no one seems to understand. A lot of the time, insensitive comments are made and gossip is spread. When someone knows and they make a hurtful comment it hits in such a personal way that you feel like there is no coming back, let alone forgiveness (atleast that's how I feel). I start to feel naked and vulnerable.
The Bible gives us plenty of example of forgiveness, one of the more famous ones, is where the King forgives the enormous debt of his servant, yet the servant go beats up the man who owes him money.
Matthew 18:21-35 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
What about when Jesus died on the cross, when our sins put Him there?
Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
The truth is we are called to resemble Christ. The truth is we called to forgive no matter how big and how personal it gets. The truth is we are suppose to forgive no matter how many times it happens (490 is just a symbol for a lot.)
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean that it stops hurting...it just means you don't hold it against them.
Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
(The love chapter)
1 Corinthians 13:5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
I pray that the Lord give us all strength to forgive those who have sinned against us. Hope you all are having a painless or less painful day!
The Bible gives us plenty of example of forgiveness, one of the more famous ones, is where the King forgives the enormous debt of his servant, yet the servant go beats up the man who owes him money.
Matthew 18:21-35 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
What about when Jesus died on the cross, when our sins put Him there?
Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
The truth is we are called to resemble Christ. The truth is we called to forgive no matter how big and how personal it gets. The truth is we are suppose to forgive no matter how many times it happens (490 is just a symbol for a lot.)
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean that it stops hurting...it just means you don't hold it against them.
Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
(The love chapter)
1 Corinthians 13:5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
I pray that the Lord give us all strength to forgive those who have sinned against us. Hope you all are having a painless or less painful day!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Taking Courage
I don’t know if this applies to anyone else, but I feel like fear has become a big part of my life. I’ve been terrified of the pain I might experience at another one of those examinations. My last appointment was so traumatic and the doctor so non-understanding that I’ve been dreading actually looking for a doctor who will give me a clear diagnosis.
Fear (google dictionary)
verb
I decided to look fear up on biblegateway.com.
As I was going through I realized that there were plenty of examples of fear, and all ended badly. You have Abraham when he’s afraid to tell the Pharaoh that Sarah is his wife. You have the Israelites who were afraid to go into the promise land. The Egyptians ended up getting sick and giving Sarah back to Abraham (I don’t want to know what Sarah had to say to Abraham after that mess), and you had the Israelites wandering around the desert for 40 yrs.
There was only one way that fear had a positive reference and that was taking into account definition number 3.
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
I then decided to think about what was the opposite of fear in the number 1 and 2 definitions. The words that came to mind were courage and confidence.
Courage (google dictionary)
noun
Confidence (google dictionary)
noun
Back to putting courage into biblegateway.com.
Deuteronomy 3:7 Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the LORD swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance.
1 Chronicles 18:20 David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished.
These verses talk about taking courage because God is with us. I think about Peter as he was walking on water toward Jesus. He was fine until he took his eyes of Christ.
So I’d like to encourage any of you who feel like me, to be strong, take courage and know that the Lord is with you.
Psalm 71: 5 For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth.
Hebrews 13:5-6 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”
So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?
P.S. My goal for this week is to keep my eyes on Christ as I have scheduled my first gyno appointment since the last doctor for this Thursday. My prayer is that I won’t chicken out and I will go.
Fear (google dictionary)
verb
- be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event;
- be uneasy or apprehensive about; I fear the results of the final exams;
- regard with feelings of respect and reverence; consider hallowed or exalted or be in awe of;
I decided to look fear up on biblegateway.com.
As I was going through I realized that there were plenty of examples of fear, and all ended badly. You have Abraham when he’s afraid to tell the Pharaoh that Sarah is his wife. You have the Israelites who were afraid to go into the promise land. The Egyptians ended up getting sick and giving Sarah back to Abraham (I don’t want to know what Sarah had to say to Abraham after that mess), and you had the Israelites wandering around the desert for 40 yrs.
There was only one way that fear had a positive reference and that was taking into account definition number 3.
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
I then decided to think about what was the opposite of fear in the number 1 and 2 definitions. The words that came to mind were courage and confidence.
Courage (google dictionary)
noun
- a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger of pain without showing fear
Confidence (google dictionary)
noun
- a state of confident hopefulness that events will be favorable;
Back to putting courage into biblegateway.com.
Deuteronomy 3:7 Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the LORD swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance.
1 Chronicles 18:20 David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished.
These verses talk about taking courage because God is with us. I think about Peter as he was walking on water toward Jesus. He was fine until he took his eyes of Christ.
So I’d like to encourage any of you who feel like me, to be strong, take courage and know that the Lord is with you.
Psalm 71: 5 For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth.
Hebrews 13:5-6 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”
So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?
P.S. My goal for this week is to keep my eyes on Christ as I have scheduled my first gyno appointment since the last doctor for this Thursday. My prayer is that I won’t chicken out and I will go.
Monday, November 1, 2010
That Why Me Feeling
Why me is a question that I feel like I struggled with quite a bit. I’ve been dealing with minute symptoms for years, thinking they were normal. On my wedding night I realized there was something drastically wrong with my body. I don’t know anyone who has it outside of the group.
I wanted to know why people at my school and at my work didn’t have this problem. Was I not less promiscuous than they were? Then I realized, I’m not.
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”
Jesus Christ had to die on the cross for all of us because all (not some) of us have sinned and fallen short of the standard which is God.
Isaiah 64:6 “All of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away.”
It doesn’t matter how much good we do, our sin outweighs our good. Its like when you are making bread, if you put just a little bit of yeast the dough will rise. Even if we sin just a little bit it makes us dirty in the eyes of Christ. The only thing that makes us clean is Jesus Christ, because He died for us. He took the punishment we deserved and then He rose again so that we can be in heaven when we die. That is His gift to us.
The truth is He doesn’t promise us a happy life. He doesn’t promise us that nothing will go wrong. He doesn’t owe us that or anything for that matter. He’s already given us an eternity in heaven if we trust Him. Our life of pain is nothing compared to eternity in heaven.
Matthew 5:45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Our lives are different because we have a different hope, not necessarily that we will be cured. But because the Lord remains faithful and He promises us that he won’t give us more than what He gives us strength to do. It doesn’t always feel like it though, that’s the hard part.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I wanted to know why people at my school and at my work didn’t have this problem. Was I not less promiscuous than they were? Then I realized, I’m not.
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”
Jesus Christ had to die on the cross for all of us because all (not some) of us have sinned and fallen short of the standard which is God.
Isaiah 64:6 “All of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away.”
It doesn’t matter how much good we do, our sin outweighs our good. Its like when you are making bread, if you put just a little bit of yeast the dough will rise. Even if we sin just a little bit it makes us dirty in the eyes of Christ. The only thing that makes us clean is Jesus Christ, because He died for us. He took the punishment we deserved and then He rose again so that we can be in heaven when we die. That is His gift to us.
The truth is He doesn’t promise us a happy life. He doesn’t promise us that nothing will go wrong. He doesn’t owe us that or anything for that matter. He’s already given us an eternity in heaven if we trust Him. Our life of pain is nothing compared to eternity in heaven.
Matthew 5:45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Our lives are different because we have a different hope, not necessarily that we will be cured. But because the Lord remains faithful and He promises us that he won’t give us more than what He gives us strength to do. It doesn’t always feel like it though, that’s the hard part.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
To Honor and Glorify God Forever
Remember Paul? His thorn in his side?
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
He pleaded with God 3 times to remove. God knows I’ve prayed a lot more times than that. Maybe I am just more stubborn than Paul. Or more persistent? :)
The Lord shows himself to others through our weakness. I hate admitting I can’t do something or that I am weak, but for God to show His power and grace through me is such an amazing honor!
Its the idea of the cracked pot with holes in it. You put a light in it, and suddenly its beautiful. I am just a broken pot without Christ, there’s nothing truly beautiful about me. But when the Lord shines through those weakness, my purpose, my being is made complete.
“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it
together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s
true strength” -Unknown
I love this quote because in many ways its true. We deal with Vulvodynia on a daily bases, whether its physically or emotionally. I believe if more people knew about what we deal with everyday, the pain, the ups and downs, they would understand if we fell apart. We would fall apart if we were on our own.
Philippians 4:13
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
The truth is we are never alone. We have true strength not because of who we are, but because of Who we have. May the Lord be with us and shine through our weakness.
On a separate note I think I am going to try posting once a week on Mondays.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
He pleaded with God 3 times to remove. God knows I’ve prayed a lot more times than that. Maybe I am just more stubborn than Paul. Or more persistent? :)
The Lord shows himself to others through our weakness. I hate admitting I can’t do something or that I am weak, but for God to show His power and grace through me is such an amazing honor!
Its the idea of the cracked pot with holes in it. You put a light in it, and suddenly its beautiful. I am just a broken pot without Christ, there’s nothing truly beautiful about me. But when the Lord shines through those weakness, my purpose, my being is made complete.
“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it
together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s
true strength” -Unknown
I love this quote because in many ways its true. We deal with Vulvodynia on a daily bases, whether its physically or emotionally. I believe if more people knew about what we deal with everyday, the pain, the ups and downs, they would understand if we fell apart. We would fall apart if we were on our own.
Philippians 4:13
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
The truth is we are never alone. We have true strength not because of who we are, but because of Who we have. May the Lord be with us and shine through our weakness.
On a separate note I think I am going to try posting once a week on Mondays.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Depression
Last night I lost it. I've have a flare-up that's been going on for a week and a day now. Last night, I began to cry and I was inconsolable that is till the Lord comforted me.
I feel depressed a good deal of the time, and I feel like some Christians think its a sin. I don't believe that! I think that how we handle it can be, but not always a sin. I think about Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:2. Remember the wife who couldn't have children? (I am thankful I don't have to deal with a second wife who could).
1 Samuel 1:6-8
"And because the Lord had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you then ten sons?"
1 Samuel 1:10
"In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord"
Hannah was depressed! She'd weep and not eat. I feel like her husband tried to comfort her much like my husband tries to comfort me "Why are you depressed? I love you!" The key is how she handled it, she prayed to the Lord. The scriptures talk about how she poured out her soul to God. It shows later that He heard her and granted her son, whom she dedicated to the Lord. He became one of the more famous prophets in the scriptures.
I'm not saying if we pray that the Lord will heal us that He will. But God encourages us to talk to Him. He gave us emotions and He wants us to share that with Him. Remember Job? He lost his family, friends, property and his wife even turned on him. He went to the Lord in questioning and sadness and the Lord blessed him twice over.
I feel like I have this tendency that when I feel down I want to pull away from God because I feel like that I shouldn't be depressed as a Christian. I've been told that means I am not trusting God to handle it. The truth is God wants us to bring it to Him, He wants us to walk it with Him.
James 1:2-5
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."
The Lord said to count it as joy, not to feel happiness. I am thankful that God cares about me enough to work on perfecting me, that He wants me to come to Him in my time of need. I don't feel happiness as I am sitting on an ice pack while I am posting, but I count it as joy!
I feel depressed a good deal of the time, and I feel like some Christians think its a sin. I don't believe that! I think that how we handle it can be, but not always a sin. I think about Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:2. Remember the wife who couldn't have children? (I am thankful I don't have to deal with a second wife who could).
1 Samuel 1:6-8
"And because the Lord had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you then ten sons?"
1 Samuel 1:10
"In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord"
Hannah was depressed! She'd weep and not eat. I feel like her husband tried to comfort her much like my husband tries to comfort me "Why are you depressed? I love you!" The key is how she handled it, she prayed to the Lord. The scriptures talk about how she poured out her soul to God. It shows later that He heard her and granted her son, whom she dedicated to the Lord. He became one of the more famous prophets in the scriptures.
I'm not saying if we pray that the Lord will heal us that He will. But God encourages us to talk to Him. He gave us emotions and He wants us to share that with Him. Remember Job? He lost his family, friends, property and his wife even turned on him. He went to the Lord in questioning and sadness and the Lord blessed him twice over.
I feel like I have this tendency that when I feel down I want to pull away from God because I feel like that I shouldn't be depressed as a Christian. I've been told that means I am not trusting God to handle it. The truth is God wants us to bring it to Him, He wants us to walk it with Him.
James 1:2-5
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."
The Lord said to count it as joy, not to feel happiness. I am thankful that God cares about me enough to work on perfecting me, that He wants me to come to Him in my time of need. I don't feel happiness as I am sitting on an ice pack while I am posting, but I count it as joy!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Introduction
My name is Raquel and I have been suffering from Vulvodynia for a little over a year. Thankfully the Lord has blessed me with a very understanding husband. Intercourse has been impossible for us and yet the Lord is faithful. The reason I decided to write a blog was after a year of researching the condition I realized that there are very few support groups, most of which are discussion groups looking for a treatment (all very helpful), but not encouraging. No one likes hearing how something didn't work. My plan is to be open about what God is teaching me through this and to encourage. As those of you who suffer from the condition know, we have up and down days and I apologize ahead of time if that comes out in my writing.
I've been discovering that there seems to be very little hope out there. However, our hope is in the Lord. Sometimes I have one of those bad weeks where I feel like somehow He's forgotten me. He is gracious because He allows His word to speak to me, to us. I hope this blog where everyone who reads it can be reminded about God's goodness and encouraged.
Romans 8:28
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
If the only good that comes out of my condition is that I encouraged one person, I will be blessed.
Psalm 31:24
"Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD."
I've been discovering that there seems to be very little hope out there. However, our hope is in the Lord. Sometimes I have one of those bad weeks where I feel like somehow He's forgotten me. He is gracious because He allows His word to speak to me, to us. I hope this blog where everyone who reads it can be reminded about God's goodness and encouraged.
Romans 8:28
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
If the only good that comes out of my condition is that I encouraged one person, I will be blessed.
Psalm 31:24
"Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD."
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