Last night I lost it. I've have a flare-up that's been going on for a week and a day now. Last night, I began to cry and I was inconsolable that is till the Lord comforted me.
I feel depressed a good deal of the time, and I feel like some Christians think its a sin. I don't believe that! I think that how we handle it can be, but not always a sin. I think about Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:2. Remember the wife who couldn't have children? (I am thankful I don't have to deal with a second wife who could).
1 Samuel 1:6-8
"And because the Lord had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you then ten sons?"
1 Samuel 1:10
"In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord"
Hannah was depressed! She'd weep and not eat. I feel like her husband tried to comfort her much like my husband tries to comfort me "Why are you depressed? I love you!" The key is how she handled it, she prayed to the Lord. The scriptures talk about how she poured out her soul to God. It shows later that He heard her and granted her son, whom she dedicated to the Lord. He became one of the more famous prophets in the scriptures.
I'm not saying if we pray that the Lord will heal us that He will. But God encourages us to talk to Him. He gave us emotions and He wants us to share that with Him. Remember Job? He lost his family, friends, property and his wife even turned on him. He went to the Lord in questioning and sadness and the Lord blessed him twice over.
I feel like I have this tendency that when I feel down I want to pull away from God because I feel like that I shouldn't be depressed as a Christian. I've been told that means I am not trusting God to handle it. The truth is God wants us to bring it to Him, He wants us to walk it with Him.
James 1:2-5
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."
The Lord said to count it as joy, not to feel happiness. I am thankful that God cares about me enough to work on perfecting me, that He wants me to come to Him in my time of need. I don't feel happiness as I am sitting on an ice pack while I am posting, but I count it as joy!
Thank you for this blog! Just noticed it from the facebook support group! As a fellow Christian I'm totally there with you! I've been suffering with vulvodynia for 5 years, found out on my honeymoon. I've been to tons of dr, and actually had the surgery but things didn't heal like I was praying they would. It can be so discouraging some days. But I loved what you said--Count it all joy, not to feel happy! This helped cheer me! Thanks again for the blog, I'll be praying for you and keep going to doctors and get a diagnosis--so many of us have gone to many of them! You can find some relief!
ReplyDeleteHey Honey,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had a flare up. I have a tip to share with you that always helped me. Use organic sesame oil, or sunflower oil or coconut oil. I prefer the sesame oil. Rub it where it hurts or for long term use, soak a tampon in the oil, and insert it and wear the tampon for a few hours. For me the oil is absorbed into the skin. Which means we need it. In biblical times they used oils as medicines. Especially for skin conditions. Praise God we can find some relief when nothing else seems to work.
Love,
Crystal
Thank you for this post as well! I so needed to here this. Ever since I have gotten married (a year and a half ago) I have been struggling with depression/anxiety off and on. I have a wonderful husband, amazing family and friends and a great job- I felt so guilty for being depressed. Since my diagnosis, I know understand part of the reason why I am depressed-which is an answer to prayer as I felt so guilty for being depressed. What you said is so true- it is not a sin to be depressed (even though Satan wants us to believe that)-it is simply how we handle the depression. Thank you! I am so glad to have found your blog through the facebook support group!
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