True Beauty

I don’t know about you all, but sometimes I feel if someone just looks at me they know.  They know I can’t have sex, they see all my flaws.  I look in the mirror and I think, I have a few nice features but I have several that could use some fixing.  I think if they somehow managed to think I’m pretty but they knew I couldn’t have sex, well nobody would want me...not even my husband.  


My husband has assured me that is not how it is for him.  Seeing as he is still married to me, I guess that’s a pretty good indicator that it is true.  :)  


This is not a parable in the Bible, but it is a parable that I heard in a sermon once by Pastor Bossom at
Harvester PCA, in Springfield, VA 


There once was a place, where when a man proposed to a woman he would offer the father cows in accordance to her worth.  If the woman was beautiful, well-learned in the skill of keeping a home and cooking (feminism hasn’t made it to this land yet) and experience with the care of children she was worth the max of 10 cows.  A woman who was ugly, had no ability whatsoever was worth no cows but it was still customary  to bring atleast one if a man did propose.
In this land there was a girl, whom everyone was sure was not even worth the one cow.  She was ugly, a clutz and had no skill at all.  No one wanted her.  One day a man appeared at the door of her father and asked the father for the daughters hand.  Even the father was surprised that the man offered him the 10 cows.
Years later, a visitor came to the house of the man who had paid 10 cows for a wife.  The visitor was shocked when he entered the home, the home was beautiful, the children behaved and the meal excellent.  The wife was gorgeous and graceful.  The visitor was astounded more so when he became aware that this was the same woman that no one would have taken years earlier.

The truth is the man paid 10 cows for the woman, the max that could be paid.  Because he saw worth in her, she was able to see worth in herself.  She was able to grow into the woman that he had paid for her to be.

Jesus Christ came to a woman who was not very skilled, not very beautiful, and couldn’t have sex and he paid the max, He died on the cross, for her life.  How comforting is that thought!  When we had no worth, Christ  gave us worth and now we are invaluable.   

1 Samuel 16:7b   For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 


“We do not want to be beautiful so that we can gain the approval of man; we want to be beautiful so that we represent our King with quality and excellence.”  -- The King's Daughter; Becoming the Woman God Created You to Be -Diana Hagee


That’s the thought anyway we should want to be beautiful to represent our King.


1 Corinthians 6:19-20  Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

What has God been teaching you?  I would love to hear feedback.  If you are not comfortable commenting here you can write me at Veronica.P.Coleman@gmail.com.

Thank You God

Romans 12:1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

What Can I Do? -Paul Baloche and Graham Kendrick

When I see the beauty of a sunset glory
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved by a God so high

What can I do but thank You
What can I do but give my life to you
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
What can I do but praise you
Everyday make everything I do
A hallelujah, A hallelujah, Hallelujah

When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side
of the cross they nailed you to
That could not hold you
Now you're making all things new
By the power of the risen life


Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Conviction

Yesterday, I was worshiping in church and I almost had to stop singing as tears filled my eyes.  There were two particular songs that just really hit home.

Mighty To Save- Hillsong


To the Ends of the Earth- Hillsong

So take me as you find me
all my fears and failures
fill my life again
I give my life to follow everything I believe in
Now I surrender -Mighty To Save

I stood there barely able to get the words out because I feel like my life has become full of fears.  Fear of confiding about my condition, fear of pain, etc.  Many times I fill like a failure, when I see a new young married couple, a baby...I feel like I failed at being a woman and a wife.  But my life shouldn't be dependent on that.  In this song I was asking God to fill my life again, fill it to the point that all my fears no longer had room and to the point where I didn't see failure, I saw Christ working through me.

The second song,

And I would give the world to tell Your story,
Cause I know that You've called me -To the Ends of the Earth


When I had sung this before, I didn't think much of it.  I've done local mission's trips and overseas mission's trips, and I felt that I meant those words.  What hit me yesterday, is the words "And I would give the world to tell Your story" it was talking about what I would give not where I would go.  The question became would I really give the world...Yes of course.  What about the personal things, the tears hit harder.  Was I even really willing to give those up, I mean I haven't really had a choice, but I was trying to hold onto that so hard.

I am asking that the Lord will fill me so much that all I see is Him working through me.  We haven't been asked to give the world, we've been allowed to give up our ability to have pain-free sex (hopefully just for a time) to tell His story.   That is what I am feebly attempting to do with this blog.  I hope you all are have a painless or less painful day today.

Out of the Depths

Out of the Depths

(click title for audio)

Out of the depths oh Lord
I cry to You
When I am tempted to despair
Though I might fail to trust Your promises
You never fail to hear my prayer
And if You judged my sin
I’d never stand again
But I see mercy in Your hands

So more than watchmen for the morning
I will wait for You my God
When my fears come with no warning
In Your Word I’ll put my trust
When the harvest time is over and I still see no fruit
I will wait, I will wait for You

The secret mysteries belong to You
we only know what You reveal
and all my questions that are unresolved
don’t change the wisdom of Your will
In every trial and loss
my hope is in the cross
where Your compassions never fail.

 

Bob Kauflin © 2008
Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

Forgiveness

This is a hard one for me.  I think that with our condition this becomes especially hard because no one seems to understand.  A lot of the time, insensitive comments are made and gossip is spread.  When someone knows and they make a hurtful comment it hits in such a personal way that you feel like there is no coming back, let alone forgiveness (atleast that's how I feel).  I start to feel naked and vulnerable.


The Bible gives us plenty of example of forgiveness, one of the more famous ones, is where the King forgives the enormous debt of his servant, yet the servant go beats up the man who owes him money. 

  Matthew 18:21-35  Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’  The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
   “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.  He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
   “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
    “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.  When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
   “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’  In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
   “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

What about when Jesus died on the cross, when our sins put Him there?
 
Luke 23:34  Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

The truth is we are called to resemble Christ.  The truth is we called to forgive no matter how big and how personal it gets.  The truth is we are suppose to forgive no matter how many times it happens (490 is just a symbol for a lot.)

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Forgiving someone doesn't mean that it stops hurting...it just means you don't hold it against them.

Matthew 5:44  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

(The love chapter)
 
1 Corinthians 13:5  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

I pray that the Lord give us all strength to forgive those who have sinned against us.  Hope you all are having a painless or less painful day!

Taking Courage

I don’t know if this applies to anyone else, but I feel like fear has become a big part of my life.  I’ve been terrified of the pain I might experience at another one of those examinations.  My last appointment was so traumatic and the doctor so non-understanding that I’ve been dreading actually looking for a doctor who will give me a clear diagnosis.


Fear (google dictionary)
verb

1. be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event;
2. be uneasy or apprehensive about; I fear the results of the final exams;
3. regard with feelings of respect and reverence; consider hallowed or exalted or be in awe of;

I decided to look fear up on biblegateway.com.
As I was going through I realized that there were plenty of examples of fear, and all ended badly.  You have Abraham when he’s afraid to tell the Pharaoh that Sarah is his wife.  You have the Israelites who were afraid to go into the promise land.  The Egyptians ended up getting sick and giving Sarah back to Abraham (I don’t want to know what Sarah had to say to Abraham after that mess), and you had the Israelites wandering around the desert for 40 yrs.
  There was only one way that fear had a positive reference and that was taking into account definition number 3.

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
  but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

I then decided to think about what was the opposite of fear in the number 1 and 2 definitions.  The words that came to mind were courage and confidence.

Courage  (google dictionary)
noun

1. a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger of pain without showing fear

Confidence (google dictionary)
noun

1. a state of confident hopefulness that events will be favorable;

Back to putting courage into biblegateway.com.

Deuteronomy 3:7 Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the LORD swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance.

1 Chronicles 18:20 David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished.

These verses talk about taking courage because God is with us.  I think about Peter as he was walking on water toward Jesus.  He was fine until he took his eyes of Christ.
So I’d like to encourage any of you who feel like me, to be strong, take courage and know that the Lord is with you.

Psalm 71: 5 For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth.

Hebrews 13:5-6  Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
  “Never will I leave you;
  never will I forsake you.”
So we say with confidence,
  “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
  What can mere mortals do to me?

P.S. My goal for this week is to keep my eyes on Christ as I have scheduled my first gyno appointment since the last doctor for this Thursday.  My prayer is that I won’t chicken out and I will go.

That Why Me Feeling

Why me is a question that I feel like I struggled with quite a bit. I’ve been dealing with minute symptoms for years, thinking they were normal. On my wedding night I realized there was something drastically wrong with my body. I don’t know anyone who has it outside of the group.

I wanted to know why people at my school and at my work didn’t have this problem. Was I not less promiscuous than they were? Then I realized, I’m not.

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”

Jesus Christ had to die on the cross for all of us because all (not some) of us have sinned and fallen short of the standard which is God.

Isaiah 64:6 “All of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away.”

It doesn’t matter how much good we do, our sin outweighs our good. Its like when you are making bread, if you put just a little bit of yeast the dough will rise. Even if we sin just a little bit it makes us dirty in the eyes of Christ. The only thing that makes us clean is Jesus Christ, because He died for us. He took the punishment we deserved and then He rose again so that we can be in heaven when we die. That is His gift to us.

The truth is He doesn’t promise us a happy life. He doesn’t promise us that nothing will go wrong. He doesn’t owe us that or anything for that matter. He’s already given us an eternity in heaven if we trust Him. Our life of pain is nothing compared to eternity in heaven.

Matthew 5:45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

Our lives are different because we have a different hope, not necessarily that we will be cured. But because the Lord remains faithful and He promises us that he won’t give us more than what He gives us strength to do. It doesn’t always feel like it though, that’s the hard part.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.