We have officially moved to the new place, which means:
I am closer to actually posting a real post. Unfortunately we do not get internet until next week, so I can't scan my comics until next Monday night. (I am at my mom's to post this update)
This week has been hard because, in the process of cleaning, moving boxes and organizing, my vajay-jay muscles have been spasming. It's amazing how one's body being tense affects everything else.
My mind has turned to mush.
One thing I did want to post was a link to my church's sermon audio podcast. It was called the Least of These and it is based on the lesson that our worth is in the fact that we are created by God and with purpose. It's the top on the list and called The Least of the These.
Till next week, hope you will have painless or less painful week.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
An update on my list
The delay has been longer than anticipated. My guess is I will be back to my normal posting-self (with pictures too) in about two weeks.
My gyno appointment went well, I was able to get the 3rd size dilator in. However, it was extremely uncomfortable and I was sore for days after. Now that I am looser in the offending area, I feel the muscle spasms, he said I was having, almost everyday. So instead of only provoked pain, I have uncomfortability (word? I don't know) shooting from offending area down my right leg.
Painting is still happening, but today should be the last day, if not, definitely tomorrow.
The vet appointment was hard. As it turned out, my cat, Mousey, had ungloved the tip of his tail. Leaving only a few muscle tendons and some uncovered bone, so the vet had to snip the tip off. His tail is now 1/2 an inch shorter. And poor Mousey will never grow hair on the very tip again. However, it is healing well.
Moving should commence this Saturday, however, that will give me very little time to give a regular update, so I am setting a goal to finish the showing love series two weeks from now.
Hope you are all have a painless or less painful day.
My gyno appointment went well, I was able to get the 3rd size dilator in. However, it was extremely uncomfortable and I was sore for days after. Now that I am looser in the offending area, I feel the muscle spasms, he said I was having, almost everyday. So instead of only provoked pain, I have uncomfortability (word? I don't know) shooting from offending area down my right leg.
Painting is still happening, but today should be the last day, if not, definitely tomorrow.
The vet appointment was hard. As it turned out, my cat, Mousey, had ungloved the tip of his tail. Leaving only a few muscle tendons and some uncovered bone, so the vet had to snip the tip off. His tail is now 1/2 an inch shorter. And poor Mousey will never grow hair on the very tip again. However, it is healing well.
Moving should commence this Saturday, however, that will give me very little time to give a regular update, so I am setting a goal to finish the showing love series two weeks from now.
Hope you are all have a painless or less painful day.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
A List of My Excuses For Not Posting A Real Post
We closed on our town house on Tuesday, so I have been running behind on writing the series. So unfortunately the series is postponed for a little while. I will post on the facebook Vulvodynia Support site when I have updated again.
Now for the list of reasons I can't post a real post
Lots of painting
Working hours later than my scheduled work day
More painting
Cleaning
Gyno appointment in the morning
And last but not least, I came home this evening to find that my baby kitty (Mousey) had an unfortunate accident. While closing a door, he let his tail slip into the hinge...He snipped off the tip of his tail. It looks so sad... Thankfully my mom was around so she was able to tend to it and called me.
And the actual last thing, the tail snippage has not seemed to affect him at all. He's running around as fast as his legs can carry him, with his pathetic tail waving behind...
Now for the list of reasons I can't post a real post
Lots of painting
Working hours later than my scheduled work day
More painting
Cleaning
Gyno appointment in the morning
And last but not least, I came home this evening to find that my baby kitty (Mousey) had an unfortunate accident. While closing a door, he let his tail slip into the hinge...He snipped off the tip of his tail. It looks so sad... Thankfully my mom was around so she was able to tend to it and called me.
And the actual last thing, the tail snippage has not seemed to affect him at all. He's running around as fast as his legs can carry him, with his pathetic tail waving behind...
Monday, February 28, 2011
Showing Love When You Can’t Give Physically: Part 3
Right now I am in a series covering five love languages, based on the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. You can read the first post on quality time here and the second post of words of affirmation here.
Acts of Service:
My husband’s love language is acts of service, which means he loves it when I do chores. I hate chores. However, my mother trained me to do them because her husband’s (my father) love language is also acts of service. Activities like cooking dinner transform from a duty to an action of love. Its like killing two birds with one stone. However, there is a problem when my husband tries to use his love language on me. I appreciate that he takes out the trash and washes the dishes but that’s not how I feel love..but we covered that in Quality time and Words of Affirmation.
Tell-tale signs that you or your spouse’s primary love language is Acts of Service:
You or your spouse complain that they never help.
You or your spouse complain that nothing ever gets done.
You or your spouse attack whatever seems to take time away from chores.
1 Corinthians 13:5
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
When you’re with someone whose language is acts of service, simply asking, “What can I do to help?” can speak love in volumes.
Philippians 2:3-5
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
What attitude did Jesus have?
John 13:12-15
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.
Imagine two pitchers full of water. If one pitcher is pouring into the other and the other pitcher doesn’t pour into the first, the first will eventually become dry. If they pour into each other, neither will get dry. We have to remember love-making is about serving the other. True love-making is a husband serving his wife as his wife serves her husband.
You cannot be selfish when you are making love or it loses meaning. Your desire should be to show your spouse love.
Galatians 5:13
You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
Acts of Service:
My husband’s love language is acts of service, which means he loves it when I do chores. I hate chores. However, my mother trained me to do them because her husband’s (my father) love language is also acts of service. Activities like cooking dinner transform from a duty to an action of love. Its like killing two birds with one stone. However, there is a problem when my husband tries to use his love language on me. I appreciate that he takes out the trash and washes the dishes but that’s not how I feel love..but we covered that in Quality time and Words of Affirmation.
Tell-tale signs that you or your spouse’s primary love language is Acts of Service:
You or your spouse complain that they never help.
You or your spouse complain that nothing ever gets done.
You or your spouse attack whatever seems to take time away from chores.
1 Corinthians 13:5
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
When you’re with someone whose language is acts of service, simply asking, “What can I do to help?” can speak love in volumes.
Philippians 2:3-5
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
What attitude did Jesus have?
John 13:12-15
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.
Imagine two pitchers full of water. If one pitcher is pouring into the other and the other pitcher doesn’t pour into the first, the first will eventually become dry. If they pour into each other, neither will get dry. We have to remember love-making is about serving the other. True love-making is a husband serving his wife as his wife serves her husband.
You cannot be selfish when you are making love or it loses meaning. Your desire should be to show your spouse love.
Galatians 5:13
You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Post Delay
Dear Readers,
I must apologize. I accidentally took a xanax (part of my assigned exercise routine from the Doctor) before finishing up my drawings and post editing, and needless to say I am between the fuzzy part of mind-thought and clear thinking. It feels much like a dream where the radio is playing in the background and you realize that it is not a radio but your alarm clock...actually that sentence made a lot more sense before I wrote it. I fear I am going to wake up tomorrow and regret having posted this apology now.
Before I continue to humiliate myself, I'm truly sorry for the let down. My regular Monday post will now be postponed until either late Monday Evening or Tuesday morning.
By the way, my husband and I are getting ready to close on a town house tomorrow (another reason for the delay (helps me sound less like a failure)), please pray that it would actually happen tomorrow.
Have a painless or less painful day!
I must apologize. I accidentally took a xanax (part of my assigned exercise routine from the Doctor) before finishing up my drawings and post editing, and needless to say I am between the fuzzy part of mind-thought and clear thinking. It feels much like a dream where the radio is playing in the background and you realize that it is not a radio but your alarm clock...actually that sentence made a lot more sense before I wrote it. I fear I am going to wake up tomorrow and regret having posted this apology now.
Before I continue to humiliate myself, I'm truly sorry for the let down. My regular Monday post will now be postponed until either late Monday Evening or Tuesday morning.
By the way, my husband and I are getting ready to close on a town house tomorrow (another reason for the delay (helps me sound less like a failure)), please pray that it would actually happen tomorrow.
Have a painless or less painful day!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Showing Love When You Can’t Give Physically: Part 2
Right now I am in a series covering five love languages, based on the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. You can read last week’s post on quality time here.
Words of Affirmation:
Last post I mentioned that quality time was my primary love language. However, “Words of Affirmation” is my secondary love language. I have always appreciated compliments and they, like sunshine, positively effect my mood. Criticism is almost worse than rain. I hate rain. (In a movie, when it rains, you know that either something sad just happened, or is about to happen.)
Tell-tale signs that you or your spouse’s primary love language is “Words of Affirmation”:
- You or your spouse complain that your hard work is not appreciated.
- You or your spouse complain that you don’t seem needed in the relationship.
- You or your spouse attack another person who appears to be admired more (see example below).
Affirming one another speaks love by way of understanding the other as they are, communicating need of the other as they are, and conveying true appreciation for the other as they are. It is the acknowledgment that your spouse is an important, non-expendable part of your relationship. Love language or not, affirming one another is of utmost importance, because it allows vulnerability, which is part of being intimate and one with your spouse. I am most vulnerable when I feel safe, and part of feeling safe is knowing that my husband loves me with or without my broken vagina. That knowledge is imparted by the act of verbal communication.
The Bible actually has a lot to say about the use of words. The harlot’s job was satisfying - not captivating (Proverbs 5:19) - simple men, and Proverbs 7 talks a lot about how she “set the mood”, as it were. Yes, It talks about her having a sexy outfit, and nice perfumed bed sheets, but most importantly it talks about her speech.
Proverbs 7:21
With her flattering lips she seduced him.
Her speech is what seduced him. In many cases of men who left their wives, they left for a woman who respected and flattered them. Now, flattery is empty because there is no knowledge that gives it meaning, but as a husband and a wife, you can encourage one another because you know each other. You have knowledge to back up your uplifting words, so rather than just flattery, you have the potential to give real compliments. You know the good things and the bad things, but you see each other for the good things.
For me, words of affirmation play a significant part in the intimate interactions with my husband. Even with the progress I have made with expanding my, ahem, “problem area”, we still can’t have intercourse, and touch in that vicinity is uncomfortably sensitive. Therefore, with intimate interactions, I become self-conscious. If I can’t have sex, I want at least to be sexy. My husband enables me to not only feel sexy but be vulnerable by showering me with kind and loving words during these times.
Proverbs 12:25
Anxiety weighs down the heart,
but a kind word cheers it up.
Everyone who’s heard the saying “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me” know that it’s a load of … rubbish. Words can hurt. Words can deceive. However, words also have the power to bond, heal, and uplift. And for some people (like me), these words of affirmation are instrumental in communicating love.
Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Showing Love, When You Can't Give Physically
When I was single, I didn’t like Valentine’s day. People holding hands was only a reminder that I didn’t have anybody to hold hands with. I had one Valentines day with my husband before we got married, and I loved it. After I got married, however, it was once again a reminder of something I didn’t have: that while other girls would buy lingerie and wait to be ravished by their guys, I wouldn’t be able to give that experience to my husband. Stupid Valentine’s Day.
Proverbs 5:18-19
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love
Our bodies are suppose to be satisfying, and they can be, just not in the traditional way. Often times, I am concerned that I will lose my husband because I can’t have intercourse, even though the Bible says that he will be captivated by my love. We are on the quest to make sex a possibility in our love-life, however it is important not to lose the “love” in the process.
I need to remember that love is not about sex. So the question then becomes, how do we show love, if not through intercourse? There is a book on this subject called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, where he talks about how people can see and show love in multiple ways. Chapman covers five different ways to show love: quality time, words of admiration, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. Over the next several weeks, I’d like to delve into each of these five love languages from a Biblical and personal perspective.
Quality Time:
“Many of us...are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.” -The Five Love Languages
I like the word “relationship”, because to me “relationship” means “quality time”. To have a relationship with someone, you have to spend time with them. This is one of my number one ways to experience love. I am constantly asking my husband to spend more time with me. To me, time with my husband is me giving part of my life to him and visa-versa. That is part of my life/time I will never get back, but I am okay with that because he is worth it. :) When he does it for me, well hot-damn, I feel precious to him!
Tell-tale signs you or your spouse’s primary love language is quality time:
In the movie Shall We Dance, the wife hires a detective because she suspects her husband of cheating (because he is not home with her), only to find he’s dancing. My favorite quote comes when the detective asks her why she thinks people get married, if not for passion. This is her answer:
“Because we need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet, I mean what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything --
the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things...All of it. All the time, everyday. You’re saying, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.’”
In many ways it’s true. I mean, obviously, God fulfills all our needs. He witnesses and notices our lives.
But then the Lord says in Genesis 2:18 that it is not good for man to be alone, and then in Genesis 4:1 He talks about how Adam knew Eve. In marriage and in love-making there is a profound vulnerability that comes from walking together and knowing one another. As a wife, it is my job to be a helpmate to my husband, by sharing and witnessing his life - by knowing him.
(Notice I say “love-making” or “knowing”, and not sex or intercourse. I say that because love-making isn’t sex, it isn’t intercourse, it is so much more. It can include those things, but by definition “love-making” is showing love in an intimate way, beyond the cheapness that sex has become.)
With people who’s primary love language is quality time, it becomes extremely important to dedicate focused time to the relationship with them. My husband and I won’t be having sex tonight, but we’ll be love-making... by spending some quality time over sushi. :)
Happy Valentines Day :)
Proverbs 5:18-19
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love
Our bodies are suppose to be satisfying, and they can be, just not in the traditional way. Often times, I am concerned that I will lose my husband because I can’t have intercourse, even though the Bible says that he will be captivated by my love. We are on the quest to make sex a possibility in our love-life, however it is important not to lose the “love” in the process.
I need to remember that love is not about sex. So the question then becomes, how do we show love, if not through intercourse? There is a book on this subject called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, where he talks about how people can see and show love in multiple ways. Chapman covers five different ways to show love: quality time, words of admiration, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. Over the next several weeks, I’d like to delve into each of these five love languages from a Biblical and personal perspective.
Quality Time:
“Many of us...are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.” -The Five Love Languages
I like the word “relationship”, because to me “relationship” means “quality time”. To have a relationship with someone, you have to spend time with them. This is one of my number one ways to experience love. I am constantly asking my husband to spend more time with me. To me, time with my husband is me giving part of my life to him and visa-versa. That is part of my life/time I will never get back, but I am okay with that because he is worth it. :) When he does it for me, well hot-damn, I feel precious to him!
Tell-tale signs you or your spouse’s primary love language is quality time:
- You or your spouse complain about time not spent together
- You or your spouse complain that there is not enough one-on-one time
- You or your spouse attack the perceived thief of time (job, friends, family, etc.) My husband can attest to this.
In the movie Shall We Dance, the wife hires a detective because she suspects her husband of cheating (because he is not home with her), only to find he’s dancing. My favorite quote comes when the detective asks her why she thinks people get married, if not for passion. This is her answer:
“Because we need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet, I mean what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything --
the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things...All of it. All the time, everyday. You’re saying, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.’”
In many ways it’s true. I mean, obviously, God fulfills all our needs. He witnesses and notices our lives.
But then the Lord says in Genesis 2:18 that it is not good for man to be alone, and then in Genesis 4:1 He talks about how Adam knew Eve. In marriage and in love-making there is a profound vulnerability that comes from walking together and knowing one another. As a wife, it is my job to be a helpmate to my husband, by sharing and witnessing his life - by knowing him.
(Notice I say “love-making” or “knowing”, and not sex or intercourse. I say that because love-making isn’t sex, it isn’t intercourse, it is so much more. It can include those things, but by definition “love-making” is showing love in an intimate way, beyond the cheapness that sex has become.)
With people who’s primary love language is quality time, it becomes extremely important to dedicate focused time to the relationship with them. My husband and I won’t be having sex tonight, but we’ll be love-making... by spending some quality time over sushi. :)
Happy Valentines Day :)
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