Showing Love When You Can’t Give Physically: Part 3

Right now I am in a series covering five love languages, based on the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. You can read the first post on quality time here and the second post of words of affirmation here.

Acts of Service:

My husband’s love language is acts of service, which means he loves it when I do chores.  I hate chores.  However, my mother trained me to do them because her husband’s (my father) love language is also acts of service.  Activities like cooking dinner transform from a duty to an action of love.  Its like killing two birds with one stone.  However, there is a problem when my husband tries to use his love language on me.  I appreciate that he takes out the trash and washes the dishes but that’s not how I feel love..but we covered that in Quality time and Words of Affirmation.

Tell-tale signs that you or your spouse’s primary love language is Acts of Service:
You or your spouse complain that they never help.
You or your spouse complain that nothing ever gets done.
You or your spouse attack whatever seems to take time away from chores.


1 Corinthians 13:5
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  

When you’re with someone whose language is acts of service, simply asking, “What can I do to help?” can speak love in volumes.


Philippians 2:3-5  
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:


What attitude did Jesus have?


John 13:12-15
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am.  Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.  I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.


Imagine two pitchers full of water.  If one pitcher is pouring into the other and the other pitcher doesn’t pour into the first, the first will eventually become dry.  If they pour into each other, neither will get dry.  We have to remember love-making is about serving the other.  True love-making is a husband serving his wife as his wife serves her husband.

You cannot be selfish when you are making love or it loses meaning. Your desire should be to show your spouse love.


Galatians 5:13
You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.